A-N-O-N-Y-M-O-U-S.

Anonymous. That’s what I try to remain. I don’t want people to know me.  Some people like to make friends and hang out with people. I like to sit in my room and play games. I'm not anti-social, I just don’t really like a lot of people. My friends I like of course and I hang out with them sometimes, but I have my limits. I dye my hair a lot not to get noticed, but so people who knew me in kindergarten wont recognize me anymore. I change my look and clothes often so no one will remember me. I stay off of face-book so people don’t talk to me. Sometimes I like to talk to people, but people don’t like to talk to me back. I learned not to participate in gym because if you do, then people will make fun of you when you mess up, If you don’t participate then they think your just extra weight. I like to make sure they don’t remember me. I'd rather be made fun of for not participating then making a fool of myself actually trying. Anonymous.. Don’t let anyone know who you are. If you do, they could plan to kill you. Its not likely but it is possible. Its happened before I'm sure.. Do you really want it to happen to you? I don't.. And that’s why I choose to remain A-N-O-N-Y-M-O-U-S.

The Lottery Response.

I think that the lottery was irony. I'm only labeling it as that because that was the only mode of literature that I was hear to learn last year and that I thinks fits the story the best. Whoever wrote this story was really good at writing. They knew how to confuse the reader but then set them straight in the end. I don't really know where I'm going with this piece of writing.. But I guess the point I'm trying to make is that I think this story is Irony.

Responce to Field Below and Big Yellow Taxi

To the second poem, "Field Below" the music and the words went along perfectly. The poem sounded sad and calm, and so did the music, but for the first one. The first one sounded so unlike the poem itself. The music went so weirdly with it. The poem sounded sad, and the music sounded all happy. I don't think it went along with it. I think that the song sounded better a little sadder. It went better along with the words. If I didn't mention, the first poem was called "Big Yellow Taxi".

She's stronger than you think.

*Authors note: Song lyric analysis is what I think I would call this one. In this piece, I took lyrics from a song, and explained what I though that it meant. It may be completely wrong, but hey, at least I tried.*

"Where are the people that accused me?
The ones who beat me down and bruised me
They hide just out of sight
Can't face me in the light
They'll return but I'll be stronger"

In this song, this is the first verse. The beginning is telling you about cause and effect. What they have done to her has effected her. "They'll return but I'll be stronger". Whatever has happened in the past, shes ready for more. In the actual song, she says: "Where are the people that accused me?" In the tone of "Well, Hahaha! Where are they.. they must be scared(:"

"God, I want to dream again
Take me where I've never been
I want to go there
This time I'm not scared
Now I am unbreakable, it's unmistakable
No one can touch me
Nothing can stop me"

She's happy. She's more powerful than everyone. This is the chorus, and she can do whatever she wants here. This is saying that she wants to go to where all her pain is located. She's not scared to face it anymore. Would you be? Nothing can stop her, Nothing can stop her.

"Sometimes it's hard to just keep going
But faith is moving without knowing
Can I trust what I can't see?
To reach my destiny
I want to take control but I know better"

She wants to go off by herself, go and find out what she really should be doing with her life. She tells herself that she shouldn't, because she knows better than to let her mind go off again. Sometimes life gets hard, but you need to keep going on, because someone else has faith in you, and it keeps you going.

"God, I want to dream again
Take me where I've never been
I want to go there
This time I'm not scared
Now I am unbreakable, it's unmistakable
No one can touch me
Nothing can stop me"

A restatement of the main chorus. Showing that she's still not scared. Not much I can say about this as I already explained it before.

"Forget the fear it's just a crutch
That tries to hold you back
And turn your dreams to dust
All you need to do is just trust"

Crutches hold you up, right? Well, fear holds you back from doing what you want. Any dream that you once dreamed, will never become a reality because you're too scared to do anything. Except, shes not scared anymore. Her dreams can become reality now. All she needs to do is trust herself.

Is he worth it?

*Authors note: Only take the time to read this is you want. You may have to read it a few times to understand or you might get it right away. I tried to make it as un-confusing as I could. This is a creative piece I wrote in my free time. The quotes are an actual song. The bold is a guy, and the real text is a girl. Face Down-The Red Jumpsuit Appartus*

“Hey girl you know you drive me crazy.
One look put's the rhythm in my hand.
Still I'll never understand why you hang around
I see what's going down.
Cover-up with make-up in the mirror
Tell yourself It's never gonna happen again
You cry alone and then he swears he loves you.”


Was he ever really worth it? Think twice on this one.. are you sure? He’s the one who’s hurting you. So why do you stay here? You could do so much better your friends tell you.. but the truth is, you can’t.
Fake smile, fake face, fake personality. What’s really reality? Are you who you used to be? Wait.. are you who you want to be? Who’s helping you threw this? No one.


[Why do I do this to her? It’s a question I’ve never thought about before..]


"Do you feel like a man
When you push her around?
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?
Well I'll tell you my friend one day this world's going to end
As your lies crumble down a new life she has found."

Bruised. Beaten sens-less. Numerous bruises, scars, and trails of tears. So why do you put up with it. No one could possibly love someone that’s that abusive, but the truth is.. you do. No one will ever understand why you let yourself go through this much pain, but who’s trying to stop you? No one.

[Baby girl. I don’t feel like a man.. I feel terrible.. I only lie to protect you.. I love you..]

"A pebble in the water makes a ripple effect
Every action in this world will bear a consequence
If you wade around forever you will surely drown
I see what's going down.
I see the way you go and say you're right again,
say you're right again,
heed my lecture"


Leave him now. This is your only chance, as everyone says, but that’s all they say. No one ever thinks that they need to say more. No one thinks that you will ever listen. Who’s there for you now? No one.

[Please don’t leave me.. I need you.. Ican’tlivewithoutyou..]

"Do you feel like a man
When you push her around?
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?
Well I'll tell you my friend one day this worlds going to end
As your lies crumble down a new life she has found."

"One day she will tell you that she has had enough
its coming ‘round again."


It’s time to step up. It’s time to show him what you really feel. It’s time to leave him for dead. It’s time. Can you do it? You can. Now, who’s going to help you when he sends his friends after you? No one.

[You said you’d never do this to me.. You’re the liar.. No matter how much I deserve it.. You are the liar..]

"Do you feel like a man
When you push her around?
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?
Well I'll tell you my friend one day this worlds going to end
As your lies crumble down a new life she has found."

All you say now is goodbye, you feel terrible, but being single has never made you happier. He doesn’t care. You did it! It’s time to move on. Who’s shocked now? Everyone.

[I lost her.. S-she’s gone.. Wh-what have I d-done..]

"Do you feel like a man
When you push her around?
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?
Well I'll tell you my friend one day this worlds going to end
As your lies crumble down a new life she has found."

Torment

*Authors note: This is an essay on the book Torment by Lauren Kate. Torment is the second book in a series, so don't be stupid like me and read the second book before the first, or you'll have no idea at all whats going on.*

Starting an essay with the only question that I can think of for an intro technique, How cool do you think it would be to be an angel? Do you think if you were living in the real world, you weren't dead, and you were an angel with wings that spring out of your back at any given time, do you think that nobody would notice? Honestly, that would be torture to me. What if every time you died, you came back as the same person, but no one remembered you? Just like amnesia to everyone. The only one that would remember you is the one that brought you back to life, your boyfriend.

The only reason your alive is because everytime you die he just brings you right back to life like nothing ever happened. You can not remember your death, your childhood, nothing. How would you feel? In the book Torment By Lauren Kate, That's pretty much all that happened so far. The book is a horror book, but I don't see the horror of it. It's more like Romance, because all they do is kiss and hug, there is no horror or fighting yet. I accidentally skipped the first book in the series, so this essay might sound confusing to you as well as me.

I would recommend that anyone who tries to read this series, for them to read the first book first, because otherwise it makes absolutely no sense at all. Honestly, I think they should of called this book a romance so far. In my opinion, there is no way this book is even close to a horror book. Going threw a portal and ending up in Vegas? I would think that's more fun and games, not horror. Writing an essay on this book is very difficult. Next time, I think I'll choose to read a different book. I give this book a 2, It's NOT worth reading.

How free really were free blacks in the north?

*Authors note: This is my social studies essay that is suppose to answer the question "How free really were free blacks in the north?" This is a completely opinion based piece*

How free really were free blacks in the north? That is the main question for this essay. You may think they have all the rights that white people do now that they're free, but think again. Because of their skin color, they cannot dine at the same restaurant as us, nor work at the same place as us. What if the whole world was full of blacks and whites were the ones suffering? Is that really fair? Why is the world like this? In the north, free blacks weren't really that free.

Saying they were free is just like giving a person a nickname. Its just a useless word. Was it really fair that blacks weren't allowed to vote? All it is is a skin color. Not being allowed to eat at the same place as a white person is over the line. It's like saying that someone's dumb because they're blond. I know I'm using a lot of examples, but it just angers me that whites think they can do whatever they want to other people because of their skin color. What if my skin color was blue? Would I be famous or become hated? Would the president allow me to be enslaved?

Is it really fair that blacks could not own as much land, or possibly any, just because of their skin color? Whites could own as much land as they wanted. If they were rich, whites could even own blacks! Why is that? I honestly don't understand. Not being able to own land because I was black? I'd probably bathe in bleach to become white. Alright, No I wouldn't, but other blacks did try that. That's how much they hated being judged. Do you hear that whites? Your killing people!

Last but of course not least, why was it wrong to mix blacks with whites? Why can't we be like trail mix. You can mix white chocolate with dark chocolate and peanuts with m&m's. Wouldn't it be great if everything worked out that way? Too bad it doesn't. On the bus, if there were no seats left and a white person got on the bus, a black person, by law, would have to stand up for the rest of the ride just so the white person could sit down.  Who thinks that's fair? Not me. I applaud Rosa Parks, for standing up (or should I say, sitting down) for her rights to sit on the bus if she wanted.

So, how free really were free blacks in the north? The answer is, not as free as they appear. In my opinion, they should be more free. Should people really be judged by their skin color? How would you feel if you owned a black? Powerful right. Well what if a black owned you in the end. They would get the best revenge.. You would end up dead. So why do people do it? Is the world really that cruel? The answer is yes. It really is that cruel.

Who's to blame?

If you have ever read the book speak, you may be wondering what happened with Andy Evans. If you haven't read the book speak, then you really should, it's great. You could describe Andy as a party boy, and a rapist. When the main character, Melinda, went to a party, Andy Evans tried to hook up with her. Of course, not thinking of what could really happen with this stranger, the first thing she thinks is "Where's my best friend? She has to see me with this guy!" Did she want this to happen?

After that, I think you can guess what happened. Did she want what happened to happen? If she didn't, I think she could of stopped him. Along with that, Andy could have stopped himself too, but he didn't, so we know that he wanted this to happen. After all, he couldn't have been THAT drunk, could he? That part doesn't even matter. After melinda called the cops, where was her best friend Rachel? Why wasn't she at Melinda's side, telling her it would be alright, or asking why she called the cops?

Where were her parents? Why weren't they there for her threw all of this mayhem? Oh, that's right. They're too busy thinking about themselves to help their own daughter. Before they could even notice something was wrong, Melinda was at the point where she would refuse to speak at all. What kind of parents do that to their own child? Pretty bad ones, I would think. The real question is, who really is to blame here?

Was it her conceited parents, her bad best friend, Mr. Rapist Evans, or Miss "She has to see this!" 

You should of killed me when you had the chance!

"So I say goodbye, to a town that has ears and eyes, I hear you whispering, as I walk by. Familiar faces smiling back at me, and I knew this would make them change. The only thing that's going to bother me is that you all call yourselves my friends, why can't you look me in the eye one last time?.."

Walking away in the dead of night.. watching everyone smile and laugh at each other.. They all smile at me, prim and proper. But they would never know my secret. Ever. The farther I go, the smaller they get. That's just what I need. Darkness. Silence.

I start running. Faster, farther away from what I used to call home. Why did you ever trust me? You knew I was insane, living in my own deep, dark world. I walk up to your house. This is going to be what you expect least. Is a wh***s lies worth dying for?

"I walked into your house this morning.."

I open your door with the key you gave me. Stupid mistake when insanity takes over. How could you ever even sleep in the same room as me? How could you love a phsycopath.

"I brought the gun from our end table.."

I open the bedroom door now. Your sleeping. It's a shame to see them go that way. You wake up. Above your nose is a gun. You look into my eyes. You never thought this day would come. No tears. No pain. Silence.

*BANG*

"You're blood was strewn across the walls.. They'll find you on your bathroom floor when I'm done."

Limp and lifeless as you are, I raise the gun. No words could be spoken for what I have done.

"You should of killed me when you had the chance!"

Comatose

"Comatose.. I'll never wake up without an overdose.." You thought. Could you really think? Are you still alive? Are you really even breathing? Your family crowds around your body. All of them cry, even your older sibling that hates you.  That's at least what you thought. "Help" You shout, but your lips aren't moving. "Help!" is anyone going to help?"Will my daughter be okay?" Mom asks. "We don't know, we won't know" Will they ever know? you think. Why can you hear them, but they can't hear you. It's like you have no control over your body.. It's because you don't!

You thought that no one loved you. You see your best friend in the hospital corner, shes screaming. Yelling. You were all she had. Now where are they taking her? To the Mental Asylum, you guess. None of this would of happened if you would of just stayed home that day.

"Hurry up Rachel!" You can hear your friend screaming. Why was she screaming that again?

"Please! You're gonna die! It's not worth it!" What were you planning to do?

"What will your boyfriend think!? Your friends, family, we all love you.." Do you remember what happens next?

"Rachel!"  You were gone before she could finish.

Here you are now, three months later. Your family can't afford the hospital bills any longer. The doctor says that he'll give your family five more minuites to say goodbye. He leaves. You want to jump up and yell, "Mom, Dad, I love you, I'm okay! I can hear you.. Why can't you hear me?.." but you can't. They say their goodbyes, and kiss your cheek one last time. "Mom.."

You finally have what you wanted.  Freedom, Death

Never known

If you wouldn't have betrayed me,

if you wouldn't have gone behind my back..

I would have never known.

If you were who you said you were,

and you didn't fake your smile,

I would have never known.

All these years,

you weren't real.

I would have never known.

When you walked me home..

When you were all alone..

I would have never known..

How much pain you were in..

I would have never known

If you hadn't died today.

You will never know that..

you meant so much to me..

Speak Conflict

My book that I am reading is called speak. In the book speak, the main character Melinda doesn't talk much. The main conflict with that is her parents think shes depressed, but that's actually only a small problem. a really big problem is that when she was at a party, she got raped and then she called the cops because she didn't know what else to do. someone at the party took her phone and found out the cops were coming, and now everyone at her school hates her. because everyone hates her, she has almost no friends and her parents and teacher feel that shes becoming depressed.

What is love?

"Did you sleep with the white boy?!" Tyler shouted. Suzan was pinned up against the wall, she was helpless against his muscels. Suzan stayed up against the wall, and sighed when he let go. She slid down to the floor. This happened all the time. Not that it even mattered to her. She got used to it.

"Suzan.. I won't hurt you.. just tell me the truth.. and the only person that will be hurt is him.."

"None of your buisness. What would it even matter to you.." She got up from the ground, and began to walk away. This time, he didn't stop her.

Suzan walked threw her front door, only to find her dog laying on the ground, dead. She sighed, then yelled.

"MOM, THE DOGS DEAD." Then she walked to her room. Her pets were always dying on her. No surprise, her home smelled like a mourn that had the thermostat set up to high, and her mom wondered why she never invited anyone over. She lied down on her bed, and began to study for her geometry test she had on Friday. It had been so boring around town after James moved away. James was her ex, but its not like they weren't best friends. She thought she should call him, so she did. They talked for hours, until her mom told her it was time for bed.

It was 3 am. Romano, Suzans brother, ran into her room. He told her that.. he sensed something was wrong...very wrong..so she called Tyler. Usually when he told her things like this, he was right, but they were usually small things. Small like they were out of food in the fridge or.. something. This time, she decided to call Tyler, cause she worried about him, too. Was he the one that Romano was talking about? She took no time to call. No answer.

"So she wants a white boy.." Tyler scoffed. He just finished pouring what must have been the 27th tub of bleach into his bathtub.
"I'll show you that were all the same on the inside." Tyler slid into the tub. His skin started to burn, then turn to normal. Perfect. He grabbed a wash cloth and started washing his face. The smell stung his nose. Perfect. Suzan would for sure love him for this. She had to, he would be white. For her.

Suzan was starting to get worried. She decided it would probably be the best idea to go and check on him.. just in case. So she drove over to his house. She walked in his front door (They never locked the door anyway.) and up to his room. She crept up the creepy staircase leading to his door. As she opened he door, her whole heart dropped.

[To be continued.]

Misjudged?

*~Authors note: This is a piece I wrote coming from the point of view of one of my best friends after she was bullied by a few people.~*

Everyone's staring at me like I've done something wrong.. All I said was a girls name.. It was nothing to start rumors about.. Plus, it wasn't even something bad that I said.. All I said was I wanted to be skinny like her.. What? No one likes me? You all want me gone.. I don't know what I ever did to any of you but say how pretty you were.. or how I liked your clothes or your hair.. I never did anything wrong.. now every time I pass you guys in the hall you glare.. I wish I could tell you what I really said before this gets out of hand.. I'm sorry.. I'll go.. I hope I'll see you again some day.

Sarah Bishops point of view (Revised)

How would you feel if all of your family died during a war? Scared, I bet. But, how would you feel if you had nowhere to live and then everyone in your town hated you? Maybe you would feel just like Sarah. What if you were her, and there was a war coming to your town, what would you do?. She has no friends or family to turn to or to live with. Sarah decided to go live in a cave. Can you even imagine living in a cave in the middle of winter?

Sarah's brother was starved to death on a ship. He was sent to go to war, but then he ended up on a prison ship. Their dad died when tax payers broke down their door, and shot their dad, right in front of Sarahs own eyes. She has no friends because she never really had any to start with. It's also because the stranger she was living with before thought she started the house that she was living in at the time on fire, when really she had no idea how it happened. The town just blamed her.

She also set a prison on fire, where she thought her brother was, but he was luckily not there. If I was the main character, I probably would of ended up knocking on strangers doors begging for food. Sarah instead, found her way far away from town with a musket, lived in a cave, and even broke a hole in the frozen lake and hooked a string in the water to catch fish. Something even I couldn't manage. What would you do? Or would you just take the blame and go to prison.

A Christmas story.

*~Authors note: During Christmas break, I went over to my grandmas house to play football with my cousin. But this time, I wanted to change it up a little.~*

For Christmas, I went over to my grandmas, like I do every year. Unfortunatley, this year there was no snow. My grandma thought it would be fun if me and my cousin went outside and played football. My cousin thought it would be funny to throw the football at my face.. I bet he didn't know that I had a friend that taught me all about revenge. My grandpa didn't take down the pool this year, so I decided to push him into it, thinking that it would be funny to see him fall into freezing cold water. As I pushed him in, I remembered that it would probably be all ice, and he would of gotten hurt badly, but that didn't stop me. I decided to do it anyway. When he fell, he hit the ice, hard. Then, something I didn't expect happened. He then fell threw the ice, after he was already sitting on the top for about ten seconds. By then, he was freezing, but it gave me a good laugh to see him try to get up through the ice after it kept breaking.